The Hunter of a Hundred Warlords

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"Fine day, human!"

...Some weirdo is trying to get your attention.

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This not-so-handsome opposite-of-tall pointy-eared menace notices you hovering roadside before his extravagantly rundown shop. He's pretty loud. You have the feeling he would've shouted regardless of how far away you were.

"Almost didn't see you there..!"
  Bullshit.
Even the pigeons pecking at the ground nearly earned a pitch; you are godsent... but also about to wander away to who knows where. The road beckons...

Aaand he's next to you.
The ill-suited demon closed the feet/meters betwixt, stumbling eerily fast, 
"My lil booth serves up all the best cheap jests!"

 He presents a choppy gif on his flip phone, somehow*2, continuing his pitch,
"And you, my pal, appear parched for puerile pranks."
.... ahem.
 Assonance.
   Alliteration.    
You might not even know what those two *MEAN* (dictatorially speaking) but you're sure sold.   O h   y e s .

                close tab run run run

... buuuut an effeminate hand stretches something like three miles up to CLAP! you on the shoulder, painfully.
STUN (5 seconds)
Before you can roll for "resist shitty pitch" his next words snake into your ear:

"A *dash* of VI-oh-LENCE..."
Taking your arm, he guides you closer and slaps the glass on his store front, showering you both with dust. An old display retorts mindlessly.

Yeah, still stunned.  (not for the right reason yet)

"Smut," he utters with a cheeky grin.
You're not sure whomst has the goods and who is buying with how cheeky his grin is, though a quick, terrified glance at the posters on the other side of the storefront changes that.

Hmm.

You sigh, roll your eyes and wave forward.
The diminutive demon struts through before you, aggravatingly triumphant. It takes only moments for your gaze to be drawn to an elder cathode ray tube TV enshrined in the center, innumerable horrors of old pottery and trinkets peppering faded linen around it. Apparently that's what he wanted; the man produces a cane and stabs at the chunky display as if to illustrate.
Of course, it explodes.

          Glass.
     Everywhere.  

  He doesn't even flinch.

That distant stare of his unnerves you but... in averting your gaze to the filthy floor, you notice that several large chunks still have the sauce burnt right in those motherfuckers.
Images flood your brain...

I know.

Simple, evocative?
Maybe even... competent.
Dodging the obvious?  O f  c o u r s e . But.
It's also 10% more interracial by volume than competitors products.
Sensing it, the demon's face crinkles in satisfaction....
Gotcha.

"Get that checkbook out, sucka. Sign it out to...

The Hunter of a Hundred Warlords
              ...give or take one.

with this big pretty logo -

...no no just the hunter part. The rest is this dumb bit, y'see? Oh, how much...? Let's say a paltry 1,30... no, no, first time discount of 1,299... well for you, chum..."

........

.....

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          anyway. give me $ or don't... but play it! and tell someone else if you liked it